Surrender is NOT a Dirty Word

I’ve been in a lot of circles where we’ve chosen angel cards. Everybody cheers when someone draws ‘play’ or ‘celebration’ and the group moans in harmony when someone chooses ‘responsibility’ or ‘surrender’.

But you know what; surrender is NOT a dirty word. Surrender is about allowing yourself to be you. It’s about letting go and being who you really are, in all your precious vulnerabilities and incredible fabulousness. Because you are fabulous, you know.

I’m approaching 50- I like to think of it as beginning the second half of my life- and

And yet, I couldn’t have done it any other way. I know that I did my best, always, with the information I had at the time. And I wouldn’t give any of it up- not even for perkier breasts. It’s  not really about regret, more a gentle sense of sadness that it took me so long to figure it out…well, I haven’t actually figured it out yet, but at least I know that I haven’t- progress, right?

I’m still not allowing myself the fullness of Who I Am. Which is ridiculous. Every time I have allowed myself to be vulnerable, I’ve received way more than I ever thought possible. Why is it so hard to put it out there, or rather, to drop the walls and just be? I think it’s that fear of the unknown, that first step into the darkness.

But oh, is it powerful when you leap. When you connect to your breath and speak your truth, not knowing how it will be accepted. Because it doesn’t matter. Because you’ve already accepted  yourself.