Sunday, 8 July 2012

Disgruntled

 Day two of the Findhorn Community Festival and I woke up with a cold! Sore throat. Runny nose. Sneezing. The works.

How is this fair? I so rarely get sick, so why now? I’ve been eating well and exercising, I’ve been wanting to come back to this festival for 6 years. Why I am a sick now?

Think I would take care of myself, I allowed myself to sleep in and miss the early morning Taize singing, and then headed for brunch at 11. On my way I stopped at the store for some Echinacea   and some lozenges. I felt okay, ate some food, visited with a few people, so far so good. So I headed to the sanctuary with Lesley for a brief meditation before the first dancing workshop.

In that beautiful quiet space, we lit the candle and centered ourselves. I breathed in, and out, enjoying the stillness, appreciating the moment.

And then I was sneezing and snotting and I had to go back to my B&B and crawl into bed. What the hell? Lesley suggested that maybe it was some kind of purification, but I think she was just trying to make me feel better.
I’m angry. Why now? I was planning on joining the festival choir but my voice is definitely not up to it. I can’t dance if I am snotting and sneezing. How can it be that I will spend the festival in my room or walking alone where I can’t contaminate people?

I can’t help wondering what this all means? Is there some cosmic mystery going on here? Is this some kind of spiritual lesson I should be taking note of? Or did I just pick up some hitchhiking germs along the way?

The real Tracy is really disgruntled. This is NOT how I pictured  starting my week.

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