Saturday, 28 July 2012

Surrender is a Dirty Word


I’m in Montpellier, France, waiting to go home. This morning I checked my email and today’s quotes from The Daily Love  (http://thedailylove.com/) all featured the word ‘surrender’. This has never been my favourite word. I always think of it as giving in, giving up, letting someone or something else take control. And I like to be in charge of my own life, if nothing else. You’re not the boss of me!

Quote #1 "Growth demands a temporary surrender of security."

- Gail Sheehy, journalist, lecturer and best-selling author.

After more than 5 weeks away, I really get this. Being on my own in Europe with a backpack and no real plan was definitely more growth and less security.  You know when you leave home things are going to be different, you step across the threshold into the unknown, you deliberately choose to surrender – it’s a trade-off you have to be willing to make and accept. And you learn things about yourself and the world.

I’ve learned that I can take care of myself, that I can haul that damn backpack around, that I can make myself understood avec mon mauvais francais, that I can follow a backpacking trail, that I can reach most places on my back with sunscreen, and how to order a decent coffee in Paris, among other things.

But these last few days have taken surrender to a whole new level of argg! Once I had made the decision to return home, I wanted to Be There Now! (‘Montpellier’s 2012 tourism theme, strangely enough) But since I forgot my ruby slippers, I had to surrender to the fact that it would be another week until I was back in Ottawa.

After surrendering to a short bout of whinging and carrying on I decided to surrender to the inevitable and plan my last few days. Really, 3 days in Montpellier, on the Mediterranean coast is nothing to complain about.

But my heart wasn’t in it. I’ve had to remind myself daily to be in the moment, to pay attention to where I was. And I’ve surrendered as best I could. And I’ve seen some great stuff and eaten some great food and had some fun. But did the English walking tour and wine tasting have to be cancelled so I had to agree to the French tour with the audio pack that I would have to return the next day to get my 70 Euros back that I had to cancel because my shoe broke in the middle of Place de Comedie? The lovely people in the tourist office did give me my tour money back AND gave me some tape so I could hold my shoe together long enough to get back to the hotel. I surrendered to the mini tourist train tour and supper at the hotel, oh yes I did.

Today I went to the beach. I wore my other shoes. It was a short trip but long waits for transit connections. But when you are traveling you’ve got to surrender to the local rhythms and there was no place else I had to be.  And then there I was, under a bright blue sky, up to my neck in the cool clear waters of the Mediterranean. And I got a little teary, which I am sure was from the salt. And I was there. Me, Tracy Montgomery, swimming in the sea, living the moment. Surrendering to this beautiful, glistening, amazing  moment. Ahhhh.

Quotes #2 and #3 have nothing to do with the above but they are worth pondering if you’re like me and have always found ‘surrender’ to be a dirty word.

"Surrender is faith that the power of Love can accomplish anything even when you cannot forsee the outcome."

- Deepak Chopra, modern day mystic and best-selling author.

"When we know love matters more than anything, and we know that nothing else REALLY matters, we move into the state of surrender. Surrender does not diminish our power, it enhances it."

- Sara Paddison, best-selling author

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